their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
