i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We left the knife in your bed.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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