Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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