Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
