he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
