It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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