Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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