I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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