I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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