4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I checked into jail on foursquare
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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