nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
