You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
