They should really pass out barf bags in church
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
