Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
