Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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