Porn is love you can see.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
