This dress was meant to end up on your floor
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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