i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
