i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
