She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The ass gains better be worth it
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