Grow some girl-balls and come out already
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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