once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
