Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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