Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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