so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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