They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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