508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
