I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
