I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
