Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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