Who wears a wallet chain?!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
