Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
