Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
