So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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