I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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