went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
