The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
