Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
