cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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