You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
