Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
