Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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