oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
