the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
