it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
