There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
