did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He shit in the fireplace
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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