Will you blow on my dice?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
