she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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