the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
