You work out of a Hotel?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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